Other Ways to Grow
by silialrabbit
Summary: A story of Willow finding maturity and balance through alternate means when her detox at the Devon Coven wasn't working out for her


Willow stared out into the woods surrounding her, she supposed on some level she deserved this. When she reached the Devon coven they weren t quite the all sunshine and hugs rehab clinic Giles had made them out to be. The first thing she was introduced to upon arrival was emptiness, apparently the coven protected their home by warding it against unsanctioned magic. Once inside the coven s grounds you were powerless unless they said otherwise. It was a sobering feeling. She felt the darkness drug out of her over those first three weeks. Perhaps, they were similar to real rehab clinics, she certainly could remember the shakes and tremors spreading throughout her body and the cold clinical room they left her to work through them, only occasionally popping into check her pulse amongst other things- that now were quite hazy. She stared up at an eagle soaring through the trees circling what looked to be a rabbit hole- if her memory of Alice in wonderland movies held true. She had tried to listen to the coven s warnings about the dangers of magic and care in its use. It was just hard. She hadn t realized how much she had been using it, even for little things lifting stuff, making it lighter, easing tiredness from late nights and school days. She grew to resent them and in turn they met her hostility with indifference. She tried to break out, and someone absently spoke aloud to another coven member about reckless children, nearly dooming the earth out of pettiness and poor use of power. She had taken the hint and went back to the meditation room where she supposed that she would think about how she d really make use of her abilities when she got out of here, avoid her previous short-comings and work with Buffy and really show those stuck up Devon Coven witches.  
One day the coven s well something or other that Willow had never bothered to remember but it was most certainly one of those titles with capitals like how Buffy was The Slayer showed up in the meditation room. She looked at her with this piteous smile and shook her head before saying that a different approach was needed. Well considering it had hardly seemed like an approach to start with this might be a plan. The woman laughed and put her hand onto Willow s shoulder and began muttering. Oh great a spell, for all she had been here a month and some odd days, she d hardly seen any of these people cast, she was beginning to think Giles was full of it and that these women weren t really wicca or capable of magic at all.  
You ll see the path wrought by hate and where it leads. The woman said grinning, and then glowing portal and blam insta-forest surrounding her.  
She was never a big fan of camping.  
~_~_~_~_~ Willow sat on a rock, moving was temporarily out of the question because when you are lost you stay still, especially when the third thing you saw in your frozen in shock from being dimensionally transported was a unicorn dashing about the bushes. Unicorns, theoretically harmless, but fairytales can be true with an edge of darkness, so for all she knew Unicorns could be human flesh eating monsters. She considered casting a spell but nothing. There was energy all around her but every time she reached it burned and she couldn t hold onto it long enough to float a twig let alone try and use it to get back.  
So yep, definitely with the sitting and the waiting.  
Lots of the waiting.  
Okay, it is night-time and why hasn t the waiting worked yet. Willow was growing concerned that the coven wouldn t retrieve her and with the rumbling of her tummy. She laid her head back and slept. Then there were voices, look at her hair, red as fire. She must be a sorceress! said one voice. Another long suffering voice interrupted, Not every redhead is a sorceress, some are harlots- see the clothing she wears her skirts have breaches attached and are so very short. fine, but who are you to be looking under the lady s dress. Willow cringed, their manner of speech was very odd, and she was both thankful for the skort and desperately trying not to kick the strange man in the face for looking under it and calling her a whore.  
We should take her to the castle, the king has warned us to be cautious of all strangers, whether she is foreign, sorceress or of another sort we shall leave it to the King to decide what is to be done. This voice seemed quite authoritative and the other two appeared to align themselves to it.  
Willow felt herself lifted and draped over the saddle of a horse. She considered revealing her wakefulness but chose instead to err on the side of caution. She no longer had her magic to defend herself and had found in these past weeks her muscle tone had waned over the past few years with her frequent use of spells during patrols and her daytime routine.  
At the end of what seemed to be a never-ending and terribly uncomfortable horse ride she was lifted off again and carried upright with one lightly armoured man on either side of her arms holding her up. Willow couldn t help but regain herself to stop her legs from dragging painfully. The knights, as seemed to be the reasoning for the armour hardly stopped but to look and her and continue taking her to their previously mentioned king. The lead man whispered into her ear before a grand doorway. You best hope he does not discover you to be some form of sorceress, for if he does you will be put to death just as all other foul magic users should be. Willow kept her face blank. The doors opened and she saw the commanding figure sitting at the throne. She had a big blaring sign of don t piss this guy off running around in her head, she was a brilliant girl and once upon a time that was all she had. Sorceresses= evil and death sentence here, she didn t have access to her magic anyhow, just come up with an excuse and hope it flies seemed like the way to go.  
The imposing figure stared at her and then addressed the knights, What have your brought before me. She was in the woods asleep or unconscious she roused as we brought her towards the hall. Her hair and dress were quite odd and we thought she should be brought to your majesty. The man nodded and looked to her, and what say you- lest you be mute in which case speak with your head, nod for yes and shake for no. If you be fool than may you be left in the yards for some other to arrange for. Willow cleared her throat, she hadn t felt this nervous in many years. My lord, my name is Willow, I was brought here by evil sorcery. I had been captive of a cruel group of witches for many days, they took my clothes and dressed me so strangely. This land is not my own, I know this for mine is never as cold as this- but instead there is only seasons of great sun and rain. May I find some form of work or shelter here until I can find a way back to my lands? Willow was high-fiving herself for coming up with such a great description of her situation and managing to sound innocent and not in her nervousness accidentally say it all in one breath.  
The king s face softened slightly, captured by sorceresses? To what end. Willow thought and answered, I dared to challenge them and their ways. Dear lady, one does not challenge magic users, they kill them, for they have no souls to save or sway. Willow looked at the king, there was something almost Giles like in the authority of his tone. She went with it squashing her own protest. Perhaps magic was evil in this dimension, it certainly burned her to try and access it. It wasn t unreasonable that it might be one of those different dimension things.  
It was a poor judgement call on my part. A bit with the impulsive. Willow said shifting her knees slightly from the kneeling position she had been dropped into when brought before the king.  
Well, we shall see about finding you a purpose here in Camelot, though the temptation to return to your lands and rid them of such sorcery is a noble pursuit, it is not an advisable task for a lady. We may endeavour to see where your lands are in relation to our own and our allies to be certain that no ills follow you or build in strength alongside us. You may obtain garments from my daughter s maidservant. Tell them in what you are skilled and we shall find you work suitable to that. Willow nodded not seeing a need for words. She was gently lifted by the lead knight and walked to what she assumed was the quarters of this daughter. There was a woman seated on a dais who stood and gently pet Willow s head and shooed away the knight. Willow hadn t felt such kind contact since Xander held her when she wanted to end the world. To have it so casually done seemed odd. My name is Morganna and you? The woman said with en edge of playfulness.  
Willow I was told to find the king s daughter s maidservant and borrow a garment. Willow said wringing the bottom of her shirt with her hands.  
Hmm, no. There is no need for that I have plenty of dresses and one I abhor that would suit your colouring and hair quite nicely. Let me retrieve it. Morganna came out with a moss green dress and handed it to Willow before indicating what must be a changing place in the room. Willow stripped down and quickly put on the dress only to realize that she couldn t do up the backing. Morganna came forward at this point as if psychic to her distress and tightened the straps and bound her into the great dress. Should I assume you were told to find work in the castle? Morganna said tone bored now.  
yes. Willow replied uncertain what had caused the woman s enthusiasm to shift.  
So, can you cook? she asked.  
No. Willow replied.  
farm. no sew no spin What? You re not terribly useful are you? Perhaps, you should join Merlin as Arthur s servant. Willow stared unable to tell whether Morganna was joking or not. Considering her medieval locale decided to try naming some of her own capabilities.  
I can read and write and reason. Willow said before stopping her planned continuation of that track. Morganna was smiling once more.  
Reading and writing and reason are good traits for a lady. I shall get you a place as a royal page. ~_~_~_~ Willow kept the green dress, but only wore it rarely as she worked she earned new garments more simple and suited to her need to run about the castle and pass messages and write letters. She frequently saw the king who had even set a lower chair next to his own for her to stare up at him and write as he ordered. It wasn t a mentally tasking job, except when she was called before the king. While there he would often dictate as if he were having a discussion with her and allow her to speak in turn.  
She had almost forgotten she once used magic, instead joining him in his hatred of this world s form of it. Arthur and Merlin avoided her, which was probably for the best because if they resembled their fantasy counterparts from her dimension than they were full of magic and she would not wish to upset her king with such news. The king leaned forward one day as he dictated to her and then asked quietly if she would join him on a midnight walk. Willow nodded and continued with her assigned missives. She went to the chambers she had been living in and nervously paced before donning the green gown. She undid her red locks from the plaits she kept them in during the day and put the faintest bit of red dye on her lips. She looked nice or perhaps a bit harlot-esque by this times standards. She wasn t sure why she cared except for the fluttering forgetfulness that came with being near the king. The king could make her feelings of vengeance, abandonment, and grief all fade. His face warmed slightly when he saw her and he offered the crook of his arm which she took. They walked through the castle grounds with Uther telling her proudly of his son, and wistfully of his lost wife. When they reached the spot they started he turned to her smile somewhat more feral, revealing the man s ruthlessness that she had come to adore over the past few months. My lady, I must admit my intentions were not wholly pure this evening. Uther licked his lips, looking to willow much the same as many a vampire preparing to go all bitey. It made her shiver a little.  
Really, I never would ve guessed that a midnight stroll was not as pure as a babe in snow. Willow replied casually.  
I suppose it is my fault for leading a lady on without following proper courting procedure. The king said followed with a long suffering sigh.  
Willow giggled, like a little girl. The king put his hand through her hair guiding her eyes to look upon his. Would I be able to entreat you to my chambers? Easily. Willow replied. Which was funny since she thought she was a Lesbian. Of course there was Oz, bisexual she supposed. It didn t matter all that much as soon there were lips over her own and she was being led on by the kiss of another. He stepped back gracefully, face and body saying nothing of his thoughts about the kiss and instead he turned and began to walk. Willow was shocked wondering whether something about her kiss had done it- did she taste of old magic ways? Was it the having kissed girls she forgot how to kiss men- she hoped not because if she had to relearn each time it would make this bi thing really hard. Before her thoughts could run any further away Uther s voice called her to ask if she was coming.  
~_~_~_~ Uther s bedchambers were intriguing. She laid her down on the bed and kissed her fervently. Hands travelling everywhere over her dress and then under it. She knew this time period viewed casual sex very differently than her own but she couldn t seem to care. It was a slippery slope but oh speaking off the hand in her lady bits was aiding and abedding her absence of thought.  
The green dress was pooled up around her head and her knickers were slid off the king rubbed against her still clothed hands touching tender places. He emerged smiling. There are two ways of this my lady, I may leave you dressed mostly and have you once and let you leave or I may remove that dress and possibly never let it go back on. Willow blushed her entire body reddening before squeaking out off.  
Hands skilfully removed her dress and then he set it and his own clothes aside.  
The evening brought her comforts that the pains of morning did not remove. The king was no longer in the bed and true to his word her green dress was gone. There was food on a tray by the bedside and a short missive with the word stay upon it. ~_~_~_~ A year passed, resentments from before seemed childish when she had Uther beside her. She tempered him some said on the ways of sorcery instead calling upon him to first judge the person s intent before executing them and if their intent was not meant to harm keeping them. Uther now had five sorcerers in an isolated end of the castle being carefully guarded and made to protect Camelot and identify other sorcerers who would either join them or die. Willow was pleased with this, it was a far better policy than the previous one. If Arthur s manservant seemed a mite bit more confident and she could honestly be with Uther without concern that one day he would be overthrown by his son and his son s pet wizard all the better.  
It was also good considering her recent bouts of accidental spells. She had thought her abilities gone forever. That magic would only ever be just out of her reach, a painful memory. Now, she could wield it she had no use for it. She had married the king a month previous. She worked only at what she desired, mainly in advising the king and his judgements. She sat and watched over Uther in the courtyard teasing Arthur about some sword grip or silly move. Looking as much a boy himself in his enthusiasm. She hoped he would still have energy this evening. She had been putting on the pounds and knew that sex was a good counter to weight gain.  
Merlin and Gaius entered the chambers, My lady, perhaps it is not my place but you have had a glow about you. Trust Merlin, to call her out on her magic use with flattery. I see no glow. She said wryly.  
Perhaps I should be permitted to check your stomach? Gaius asked.  
That is something for my husband to do. Willow replied.  
But he is no doctor. Tell me have you had your visitor in some time? Your handmaidens say there has been no bloody clothes and have reached some conclusions that I as royal doctor ought to check. Willow was stunned before it hit her, almost a year of frequent sex, no protection and previous evidence of her husband s virility i.e. her stepson Arthur. It took a great deal not to speak out her first thought which rang out with a resounding oops . She hadn t even thought to broach the children subject with Uther and he hadn t brought it up, it just hadn t mattered the kingdom had an heir. This was just a well something. Gaius stepped forward in this time pressing his hand against her belly and hmm ing and then pinching her breasts.  
Hey, watch with the touch there. Those are private use only. Willow pouted.  
Gaius hmm d a bit more as if he hadn t heard her and then looked to Merlin who also smiled and nodded.  
It seems we are in agreement. Congratulations Milady. You are with child. Thank you Gaius. Merlin? Merlin grinned, Yes, Milady. Could you instruct Uther to join me in our chambers and then tell Arthur the news. I would tell both- but it might not be that sort of talking- of course Lady Willow. He was impertinent but almost a bit Xanderish at times. She did miss her Xander shaped friend some days.  
~_~_~_~ Willow waddled over to the bed to wade in the blankets. She really missed central heating, drafty castles were just unpleasant under some circumstances.  
The castle seemed empty, everyone had headed out to battle and she was left behind. A lone sorcerer entered the chambers and spoke words of banishment with an unholy glee, she didn t even have time to counter. She lay on the ground protecting her abdomen as she woke to see cars and lights and Buffy! Buffy turned towards her, a look of shock before running forward.  
Willow is that you? You re huge. Where ve you been? Who ve you been with- Oh yeah wait here- vampire. Buffy cartwheeled over to the person she had been fighting with ending with a roundhouse into a tree branch before lifting Willow as if her pregnancy weight meant nothing.  
That evening Willow came to realize she couldn t be here anymore. Sunnydale felt oppressive and dark. She longed for Camelot and her husband. The child in her belly kicked in agreement.  
She did find out that Xander had successfully gotten married to Anya, that Tara had been returned from the dead and that she and Faith now reformed were together. It was sort of reassuring to know that they had found happiness. She considered telling her story differently painting the coven in a poor light but perhaps they were right about sending her away and were trying to teach her maturity and wisdom for magics.  
Buffy railroaded Willow to a doctor s appointment first thing in the morning not at all trusting in some medieval doctor. It was a good thing too, her child had some form of heart problem that could be fixed before birth. Willow had seen all the scoobies before and after the surgery.  
She grew listless each day she neared popping with the realization her husband would not be there.  
It was only when she was in the throes of labour pains she found herself collapsing onto the floor of the throne room. Clearly in less time than she had thought as the sorcerer who had banished her lay bloody at the King s feet, beaten within an inch of his life.  
She thought a brief mournful thought about the loss of modern medicine and painkillers aiding her pregnancy and then it was overridden by joy. Uther was already pulling her in close and checking her undergarments, satisfied that her pain was the coming of child and not the transport the sorcerer had used upon her he ordered his guards to carry her to a bed and for Gaius and a midwife to be summoned.  
Willow was still sorta woozy on most of this.  
After a great deal of pain and some colourful cursing she held their child in her arms, suckling at her chest. She gave the child no name and Uther did not either. In that moment it was magical enough. 


End file.
